When I was younger (odd comment when you’re only 24), I had this big, grand plan for my life (like we all do). I was going to find the love of my life in college, I’d see him across the quad on orientation day. We’d graduate college together, move to a different state, find our dreams jobs, buying our dream house, get married and have a couple kids. If you’re reading this then obviously none of what I just said happened. Instead I worked my butt off (academically and financially) through college, and got my heart broken a few times (I broke a few too). So since my grand plan didn’t work out the way I wanted it too, I made a new plan, becoming a dog mom. I lived on my own and it seemed like the right thing to do since I swore off dating (to “find myself” as all those who have just given up say). After a seven month detox, I decided it was time to find my fur baby a daddy. However, since I practically isolated myself from the world (I was pretty content with my route work, dog and bed) I turned to a dating app. A few of my friends had some success on this one in particular, it’s all the buzz (if you know what I mean). So my search began and quickly ended when I found him, D
I was hesitant at first just because of the age difference. I know that sounds shallow and I had dated a few years old but not six years older. That in itself was a new terrain for me. However, looking at D’s profile I had to admit he had a really nice smile and nice eyes (I’m a sucker for both). So I started talking to D and there was a connection instantly. But there was one other catch about D’s profile that I didn’t mention. An option on this dating site was to indicate if an individual wanted kids. D’s said “have kid(s) and don’t want anymore 😧. Now I love tiny humans but the possibility of not being able to have mini mes running around was devastating especially after finding someone I connected so well with. But like most of us girls think, “I can change him,” (ladies you know you’re guilty of it don’t lie). After days of talking, I mean texting and calling (yes, that is still a thing), D asked why I hadn’t asked about his kids. Don’t get me wrong I wanted to ask about them from the start but I wasn’t hung up on them. Instead I wanted to get the opportunity to know the man who created these tiny humans and when he was comfortable enough to talk to me about them, he would (which he did).
And almost eight months later here we are. D, myself, our three dogs and the two tiny humans. I met the tiny humans a little less than a month into D and I’s relationship. I was nervous, I thought it was too soon to met them. I felt like the situation was going to be like “hey here’s your future step mom” or the tiny humans would instantly hate me and that being the end of D and I (because let’s face it, your tiny humans come first in any situation). I had all these different scenarios running through my head and I never once pictured the time that I would actually met the tiny humans. I woke up, cuddled next to D in his condo, I figured I could sneak out a come back in a few hours when everyone was awake. Obviously as history holds, my plans never work out. The youngest of the tiny humans, C, bursted into the bedroom. Unfortunately the second it registers that daddy’s not the only one in bed, C froze and we just stared at each other. It felt like hours, days, weeks were flying right by us. But in all honesty it was only a few moments before D came to the rescue and called C into bed. D explained to C who I was (D informed the tiny humans who I was weeks before I met them). C was hesitant at first, but quickly forgot about me and started cuddling up to D. I never thought I could fall more in love with someone than I did that moment when I saw a different side of D, his father side. It was pure and beautiful, I knew I didn’t want to go anywhere after that. Eventually the oldest tiny human, T, came into the bedroom and we met. And, yeah, that’s how this roller coaster started. I’m not gunna lie it’s a lot to handle, even though the tiny humans are only around every other weekend. Like I said early I’m only eight months in and I still have my difficulties. If it’s not the clashing of parenting styles, behaviors, temper tantrums, don’t listen, it’s something else entirely. However, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Though there are rough times, there’s also a lot of happy and fun times. It’s all just a process and it’s one I never pictured myself being in but it’s right.
The Step Parent 